These Captains Saw The Funny Side Of Naming A Boat
Boats aren't just cars that can go in the water. These vehicles are like members of the family—for some boat owners at least. A vehicle this special deserves a special name. You can't go around naming your boat ordinary names like "Jack" or "Marcus" or "Mary." I mean, you could, but where's the fun in that?
These boat owners know that boats may be serious business, but naming a boat can be tons of fun. Keep reading to see some of the most creative boat names in the harbor.
So That's How They Got The Boat...
They say that honesty is the best policy, but we're not sure that applies to criminal activity. You don't want the coast guard to figure out that you can only afford about because you're in the business of procuring and selling illegal drugs.
This could just be a joke, but still, you don't want to give those pesky coast guards any reason to suspect any funny business. What better use for drug money than purchasing a new boat?
Taking A Sea-battical
Whoever owns this boat is clearly having a fantastic sabbatical. What better way to enjoy your time away from work than to take a boat out on the water in El Paso, Texas? Maybe the owners of this boat are even sailing down to Mexico for an even more exotic vacation.
We love the play on words in this boat's name. This guy might be an English professor because he certainly knows his way around a pun.
New Kids On The Dock
You know the '90s boy band called New Kids on the Block? Well, look out everybody, because there's a new boat on the dock. The owners of this boat must be die-hard New Kids on the Block fans. It's also possible that they just liked the pun. Either way, this is a great name for a boat.
They even used the same font as New Kids on the Block's logo. Now that's creativity at its finest.
Heartbreak Written All Over It
We can't decipher who was the original woman to have this vessel named after, but we love the idea of it. Although the owner may have had different relationships over the years, it shows respect to the past girlfriends (kind of) and also demonstrates the boat's history.
It may not be the prettiest thing in the world, but not only is it wholly original, but it also establishes this boat's owner as a complete savage. It's also likely that his current love interests aren't too thrilled about his ongoing joke.
The Raw End Of The Deal
Look, we know what you're thinking. She got a better deal. A true sailor knows that a good boat is worth more than money, though. Boats can take you wherever you need to go. Houses have to stay in one spot.
Also, it's acceptable to have a beer at any time of the day when you're on a boat. Beers can't be consumed in houses until it's at least 5:00 PM. When you're on a boat, it's always 5:00 somewhere.
Mary's Not Into The Sea Life
We're going to take a shot in the dark here and gather that Mary probably doesn't like whoever owns this boat because of the boat itself. Maybe Mary thought the owner of this boat should have spent his money on other, more useful items. Perhaps an engagement ring or a house or rent.
Some guys fall into the trap of caring more about their boat than their significant other. That's not something that Mary appreciates very much.
Boating Under The Influence
Never drink and boat. It's against the rules, it's dangerous, and it's serious bad boating form. That said, the name of this boat is pretty funny though. It doesn't look like there's much room on this boat, so whoever is driving it is probably driving solo.
I don't know anybody who's into solo drinking, but we're not here to judge. As long as you don't boat and drink, you're A-okay in our books. Stay safe out there, people!
A Nautical Good Time
There are so many ways for boat names to pun on the word "naughty." Everyone knows that seamen and sailors have to know their knots if they want to have any kind of success sailing the seven seas (or lakes). Knots are a huge part of the nautical culture. That's why this boat name is so appropriate.
It's safe to say that the owner of this boat might be a bit naughty, but he also knows how to keep a low profile.
What About Unsinkable I?
Well, there must have been an original "Unsinkable." We're willing to bet that it probably sank, which is why the owners have a new boat. We admire that they kept their heads held high and could laugh at their misfortune instead of pretending like nothing ever happened.
It shows a lot of pride and clearly their love for boats if they were willing to get another one. On the off chance that this boat sinks, will there be an Unsinkable III or will they get the message? Only time will tell.
A Relaxing Ride
Boats can mean business, but they're also great places to kick back, relax, and enjoy a long weekend. Boats and chilling go together like sea dogs and salty sea air. We love the pun in this boat's name. Licence to Chill is a pun on Licence to Kill.
We hope there's a lot more chilling than killing going on on every kind of water vessel. Can't you imagine kicking back with a martini on the front of this boat?
It's The Truth
As funny as it is, we don't think that they needed to name their boat "Goin' Broke" considering that everyone probably assumes so when they walk by or see it in the water.
However, we have to admit, this is an incredibly sleek boat, and it looks like it might be worth going broke over. We hope that the owner has a bed below deck because they might end up living on it soon enough!
Another Pop Culture Pun
You might have to do double-take when this boat passes you in the harbor. If you're a fan of heavy metal, you'll quickly recognize what the name of this boat is referencing. The boat is called "Sayler," but the font in which the name is written makes it clear that this is clearly a reference to the band "Slayer."
This is a fantastic play on words that rock fans can really appreciate. Nice one Sayler sailors!
I Am The One Who Fishes!
Anybody who's a fan of the hit show Breaking Bad can appreciate this boat's name. Its owner must have been enough of a die-hard fan that they decided they wanted to incorporate it into their boat name. We wouldn't be surprised to see Bryan Cranston or Aaron Paul at the helm of this boat.
However, odds are, they probably aren't just out there fishing if you catch my drift. We wonder if the owner wears a signature hat every time they set sail to reel in some bass.
If You Can Read This, Send Help
Although this person had the opportunity to name their boat something semi-unoriginal or to do a sexual innuendo, they opted to be as witty as possible. This person was definitely thinking outside of the box when they came up with this idea.
If they're lucky, people still read this as upside down, and it's not capsized somewhere in the water. We wonder if there's something painted on the bottom of the boat as well in order to really get people's attention.
A River Of Alcohol
If you know what happens to your liver when you drink too much over an extended period, chances are you'll get the joke of this boat name. Although permanent bodily damage from drinking too much is nothing to joke about, we guess anything flies out on the water.
Also, the martini glasses on the side are a nice touch and definitely help to get the message across. It's also safe to say that very few people (possibly nobody else) has thought about naming their boat this.
No Fish In Sight
Whoever owns this boat knows a thing or two about the feeling of frustration. They know how it feels when you open a web browser only to get a 404 error message, and they know how it feels to set out for a day on the lake, fishing rod at the ready, only to come back empty-handed.
Fishing is a waiting game. You need to have a ton of patience if you want to catch anything substantial.
Breaking Wind And Breaking Free
Here, we have a classic example of a dad who got himself a boat and couldn't resist adding a dad joke into the name. The odds are that his wife hates it and refuses to step on board until he changes the name to something more appropriate.
That's probably not going to happen, and Breaking' Wind is most likely going to be in the family for the foreseeable future. Hopefully, he has a son that he can pass it down to so the name is never changed and its legacy lives on.
So Much Space For Activities
Nothing shows more dedication and love for the comedy movie Step Brothers than naming your boat after the fictional failed company Prestige Worldwide. Although they could have named it something a little more inappropriate involving the theme song for Prestige Worldwide, we think that this is a perfect fit.
Now, all we hope is that they don't end up destroying the boat in a negligent accident like the one in the movie. We're sure people are always yelling Step Brothers quotes at them when they're on the water.
A Offer You Can't Refuse
Now, this boat's name lets everyone who sees it know that they mean business. Unlike the Error 404 boat, this one looks like it does quite well for itself when it comes to fishing. It has a fish with a Tommy gun smoking a cigar on it, for crying out loud.
Other boats would be wise to get out of its way because if the owner has the mentality of anything close to Don Corleone, they could end up underneath the water where nobody would ever find them.
You Can Have Meetings On A Boat...
Whoever named this boat is probably someone that doesn't like to lie outright, but instead, conveniently leave bits and pieces of information out of a story. if someone asks where they are or what they're doing, technically, they are "in a meeting."
The only problem is that they might cry wolf one too many times and people will never believe them when they are actually in a meeting. The idea is there; however, the execution might not work out so well.
We See You, Bilbo
The thing that makes this boat's name so great is the complete randomness of it. It's not a Hobbit or Lord of the Rings pun or joke; it's just named Bilbo Baggins. Although they could have called it something less evident with a nod to one of Tolkien's novels, they just decided to leave it at Bilbo Baggins. Which we appreciate.
Not everyone has the confidence to do something like this, but this boat owner doesn't care what anyone thinks. Their boat's name is Bilbo Baggins, and that's that.
Straight To The Point
We're not sure if there's a significant meaning to this name, but to us, it looks like they couldn't think of anything, so they named it "two words." Since most boat names usually have two words, we guess this makes sense although it shows a lack of effort on the owners part.
To each their own, and we guess that this is better than not naming your boat, which is frowned upon in the boating community. Maybe this is just temporary until the owner comes up with something that they're proud to have on their boat.
What's Its Name Again?
While this boat's name could mean a multitude of things, we're going to go ahead and assume that it's referring to getting blackout drunk. I mean, even the paint on the boat is black, so if that's not another hint to the meaning, then I don't know what is.
Although it's not uncommon to name your boat after something party-related, to call it after being so drunk, you can't remember anything is a bold move. We just hope the blacking out happens in the harbor and not out on the water.
Not A Peaceful Ship
For those that are unaware, The Art of War is an ancient Chinese military treatise written by the military strategist Sun Tzu. It has made a major influence on military strategy throughout the world since it was first published. Now, why is it the name of someone's weekend boat? We're not entirely sure.
However, we assume that people stay out of their way on the water or else The Art of War might start some problems. So maybe it's not a bad name after all.
There's Always Time For Tea
We're going to take an educated guess and say that the person that owns this boat is a lover of tea, is English, or both. It could also be a reference to playing golf at the same time too.
We wonder how much tea they must have on board if that's what they ended up naming their boat. They better watch out for other sailors, or else they might have another Boston Tea Party on their hands.
Perfect For The Zombie Apocalypse
We all know somebody that is praying for a zombie apocalypse of some time because they believe they have what it takes to survive. We're not sure why anyone would secretly hope for something like that, but they're out there.
The owner of this boat appears to be one of those people, and they want everyone to know that they'll be fine because supposedly zombies can't swim. They just better hope that if a zombie apocalypse ever happens, they can't.
Champagne Dreams
While we've already seen that boat captains love to name their vessels after something alcohol-related, this person got straight to the point. There's no puns or references here. They just decided to name it "champagne" and call it a day.
They probably only drink champagne on board, and any other types of alcohol aren't welcome. Maybe they also have boats named "beer," "whiskey", and "wine." People should start naming their boats after types of alcohol more often.
Is The Simpsons Paying Them For This?
Simpson's fans will get this reference from a mile away and probably wish they had the same idea when naming their own boat. This is a reference to The Simpsons Movie when Homer gets a pet pick and decides that he isn't just an ordinary pig, but a spider-pig.
The other cool thing about this name is that even if you don't get the reference, it's still random enough to make it unique among the other boats out there.
A Beautiful Tribute
It's safe to assume that the captain of this boat name is Johnny and that he probably spent all of his cash in order to buy it. We also probably wouldn't be far off guessing that Johnny is also a big Johnny Cash fan.
So, the name is killing two birds with one stone. If you ever hear "Ring of Fire" or "Fulsom Prison Blues" blasting out on the water, it's most likely Johnny's Cash just cruising through.
Forever Without Shame
We're willing to take a guess that the owners of this boat probably have quite the reputation around the harbor. You don't name your boat "Shameless" unless you're ready to live up to the expectations. It's likely that the boat was named for the behavior that occurs on board and not the Showtime series Shameless.
The people of Milford, Connecticut better watch out when "Shameless" is in the area because they are most likely unpredictable and take no responsibility for their actions.
These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things
It appears as though this person named their boat after a few of the things that they like best. An interesting combination, but we don't think they were trying to be very subtle about it, at all.
So ladies, if you're blonde and love a man that works in stocks, this is the boat you want to be on next Labor Day. However, the boat looks a little bit cluttered, not something that will help this guy get as many blonde ladies as possible on board.
Pour Another One For This Guy
Although some people might find the name "pour decisions" to be the best part about this boat. What we really appreciate are the martini glasses and shakers that have so eloquently been painted on the back so that people know that they are referring to drinking alcohol.
We still haven't figured out the glorification of drinking while driving a boat. Because to us, this looks like a good reason to get pulled over for no reason at all.
Fans Of Raw Fish
Who would have thought that there was someone that was this obsessed with sushi in Texas? We're not saying that people from Texas can't enjoy sushi, but naming your boat after it requires some serious dedication.
With that being said, maybe they go fishing and eat the fish straight out of the water, getting as close to real sashimi as you can get? In that case, sign me up for the next fishing trip this boat goes on.
Always The Optimist
It's clear that whoever named this boat is a realist. They understand that there's usually always something that gets in the way of your plans. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a part of life that you can either accept or be upset over.
This person has definitely accepted that something is always bound to come up, so they've even named their boat after that unavoidable aspect of life. It's a constant reminder to themselves and others that pass by their boat.
Don't Drink And Sail
While we've seen plenty of others name their boat about what appears to be their drinking problems, this one is the most tasteful by far. They're not necessarily claiming that all they like to do on their boat is drink, but instead that they're addicted to boating. Usually, we would expect to see other decals of alcohol or drinking references, but not here.
This person seems to actually be addicted to being on their boat which is something we can understand.
The Force Is Strong With This One
Wow. This person really went all-in with the Star Wars theme of their boat. They didn't just name the boat Rogue One; they got it done in the Star Wars font and everything. Honestly, it looks pretty cool, and we're sure that any other Star Wars superfans would be jealous not to have thought of that when naming their own boat.
We wonder if this person has named anything else they own something Star Wars related. A kid, or maybe a dog?
It's A Topless Boat, Chill
We really like the double meaning behind this boat name. Although the boat is topless and doesn't have a cover on it, we can also assume that it has a deeper meaning.
Although it may not be as brash as some other boat names, it's the perfect amount of class with a little bit of sailor crudeness thrown in there. We think that some serious thought into naming this boat and it proves that patience pays off.
An Impulse Buy
There's nothing quite like letting people know how impulsive and spontaneous you are. Other people love it too. It shows that you play by your own rules and that you're as unpredictable as people get. While most people might impulsively buy a new pair of shoes, this person decided to buy a boat.
However, not only did they impulsively buy a boat, they named their boat so that everyone knows they could buy a boat because they felt like it.
We See What You Did There
There's no hiding what this boat's captain is into. He likes to fish and he appears to like chicks too. We're not sure if this is a reference to baby chickens or women, but we're just going to assume that they love baby chickens.
We need more people that love baby animals so much that they're willing to name their boat after them. We wonder if they like chips though because we heard that those go really well with fish.
An Insta-Famous Boat
Oh man, this is a whole new level of boasting. Nothing says looks at me like driving a boat with the number of Instagram followers you have as the boat's name. Granted, this person is one of the few if not the only person to be so bold as to do this, so we have to give respect for where it is due.
The real question is, what happens if the number ever changes? Do they have to change it all the time or are they happy with 16,000?
